wrigley field is MILF paradise
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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