thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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