what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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