for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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