So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
He has the fingertips of a God
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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