I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Two words: nipple clamps
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