my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
