Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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