She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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