we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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