Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
