Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Yo dont text me then not text me
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
