you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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