hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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