Heybabeimwearingurpanties
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
