The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
