Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
