Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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