I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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