I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
