I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I can't turn off my feet"
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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