Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
