Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
please come you make the beer taste better
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
