i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
