So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
