I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm having to shit out rocks
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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