okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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