she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
