she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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