Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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