Michael Bay diarrhea
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
