no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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