if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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