I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
