After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
why is half of my head shaved?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
