i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
