would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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