Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Porn is love you can see.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
