i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
