Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
