im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
