So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
