I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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