let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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