He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
