No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
