He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
