Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
