Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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