I want to make a zoo with you.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
